Actually, knowledge is a horrible thing
by Kandamio
Summary: Takes place after chapter 51 or so. Since their new discovery, Hanji has a hard time keeping on doing her experiments, and crosses Levi's path just at the right time. No pairing unless you want to see one. Rated T for language. (Warning: spoilers)


**In light of the recent chapters, and because I thought for a while that the anime didn't show the depth of the character Hanji is (yes she's _excentric_, but not (as) insane as part of the fandom views her), I wanted to develop a bit the thoughts that ran through her mind when she understood what Connie told to her about his village. And Levi/Hanji being my brOTP, I couldn't help but trying to imagine how they could have interacted after their meeting at Erwin's side. (I tried to have them IC as much as possible, but I'm not great at that, sorry if you're disappointed ^^"...)**

**And yes, as you can guess, I choose to define Hanji as female. (But as they are no pairings - or only the ones you _want_ to see, that's not such a matter, as you only have to change a few words). This work, written in (poor) english, is mine; as much as I'd like to be, Isayama is the rightful owner of Shingeki no Kyojin.**

**Warning: spoilers on the recent chapters (51 or so).**

Actually, knowledge is a horrible thing

_That was the one discovery she would have liked _not_ to be done._

Before her eyes laid the two new titan specimens, firmly tied to the ground with steely ropes. And for the first time, she didn't want to begin the experiments, nor didn't get to resolve herself to begin. By her side, Moblit fidgeted, nervous, waiting for her instructions. All too conscious of his stare on her face (for fuck's sake, stop looking at me like I hold the key to the universe), the brown-haired, glasses-wearing squad leader stammered – on a weak tone – what she considered would be a believable excuse.

« Hum... Wait a minute, I forgot something. »

Yeah. To throw up in a corner. Once she was out of everyone's view, Hanji put a hand on her mouth and began to run. She didn't know where, just knew she had to run away from all this, at least for a few minutes.

The world was screwed. They were all _so_ screwed.

Dismembered by the titans the second they were deemed ready for the battle, their situation was all but enviable since the very beginning. But it went worse and worse, down the hill. Irvin himself was beginning to go insane, since one of the creatures had took his arm off. Since the moment Connie had testimoned this pitiful creature, stuck on « her » back, to be his mother. His own _mother_.

She didn't even want to imagine what it was like to be in his shoes. She felt bad enough in her own.

Her cheeks were surprisingly dry, for she _wept_ in the inside only. How would it be possible to keep on seeking information, on fighting, on doing everything they did up until now ? How would they be able to keep their sanity after understanding a mere part of the seemingly horrible truth ?

« Got any time to be slacking off, shitty glasses?

- … Oi. What's wrong ? »

Engrossed in her thoughts, she didn't realise she had crossed paths with the so feared « Humanity's strongest soldier ». Surely some kind of disturbing emotion lingered on her face, for a concerned frown (scarier than usual) had formed on his face, when she didn't answer him straight away.

« Nothing. » She had smiled, but it didn't seem to convince him.

« Spit it out.

- … Don't wanna. The others are waiting for me, 'have to go back quickly.

- Looking at you, I'd say they can wait a bit longer.

- ... »

Sighing, Hanji let her back glide along the hard brick wall and looked up to Levi with expectation. He stared at the muddy ground with a scowl and reluctantly knelt down beside the scientific section leader, cautious that it wouldn't stain his trousers. That is, before she pushed him down, on his bottom. « Might as well make it comfortable. » She would be going to hell for that, but living on this earth was already a torture in itself. As well as speaking about it, she realised when she found out how dry her throat was.

« If you're not going to speak soon, I'll just have to make you.

- … The exception which confirms the rule. We all chose to turn a blind eye on it. Should have known better an exception _always_ infirms the rule, that's pure logic. » Anyone would have wondered what she was talking about, but surely Levi had thought about it before listening to her rambling. Fact is, the short black-haired man stayed silent, waiting for what was to come.

« We all knew Eren would be the key in our fight against the titans. Just didn't know exactly to which point. I mean, a human turns titan at will, and we just consider him a peculiarity, a _phenomenon_. Other people turn titans, and we do the same. And it would have gone on for a long time, if not for this village. That's just nonsense the hope that keeps us alive, our motivation, is also what's preventing us to go forward. The people we're trying to protect are also the ones who could kill us tomorrow.

- … You finally drop the act. So I was right ? We're the killers in this story ?

- Well, at least for the deviant ones, I think. As for the others, I'd like to imagine there's another explanation.

- If it wasn't for the titans you abandoned in the courtyard, I'd think that's all there is to the story and I might believe you.

- Well… In the eventuality it isn't the case... That would mean that for the sake of my research, I was actually... And that the two in the courtyard are...

- Right now, we can't afford to be overly cautious. If you stop your experiments, we're all dead.

- Yeah, but even though, that's more easily said than done.

- Trust me, I do know how _hard_ it's going to be.

- So, what do we do ?

- Well... There's the first possibility, where we try to be responsible army leaders and continue as we did up until now using your knowledge and add it to my battle skills. And... Well, there's the other one, where either we turn fucking batshit crazy, either we try to forget what we learnt about them. Either we keep on hiding like you do now and go crying in Nile's gown. »

At the last proposition, he threw a pointed look at her. Her own answer was to playfully punch his arm while protesting in a laugh.

« … Fuck you ! Let's see how you're going to do on the battlefield, smart ass !

- No doubt better than you, shithead.

- That's a challenge ?

- Hardly. A challenge means you're not sure of who's going to win.

- W-Wait a minute. Y-You... Could it mean that... You're knowledgeable enough to give me the definition of a word ? O-Oh the Lord ! Why, _bravo_ and thank you, dearie ! »

All said on an impressed and excessively flattered tone, as if someone had told her titans came directly from a chicken's butt just to see her.

Sarcasm didn't suit her, he would be making sure she understood that.

« And I'm going to define some other things to you soon if you don't stop using that tone with me, _squad leader_.

- … Oooops, I think the others are calling for me. Guess I'm pretty laaate ! » No one dared come in Levi's territory, much less _scream_ in it. Either Hanji had incredible ears, either she understood she was about to cross a line. Clever dumbass. Probably remembered how it usually went when she or Mike pushed it too far.

Already up on her legs, Hanji hesitated somewhat before turning around and yelling towards the courtyard, with as much enthusiasm as she could muster : « Coming, comiiiing ! Wait for me, my babies ! We're going to save the humanity togetheeeer, sweethearts ! »

And turning to Levi, smiling shyly : « That's an oath, right ?

- Call it the way you want, as long as we keep kicking asses. » in a last smirk.

Left alone in the mud – _eww_, now that he thought about it, _gross_ – the short man considered for a bit in silence. Gazing far in the horizon, he lost himself in his memories, painful for many of them, before pulling his hands into fists, then slowly, flexed out, onto the ground.

« Speaking about babies and kicking asses. Time to get down to business. »

Getting up and dusting his smeared trousers and loincloth– he'd be getting back to the crazy bitch soon enough for that - Levi seized his crop and walked confidently towards the recruits' barracks, soon reaching the door.

« You call _that_ clean, you lazy butts ?! And your fingerprints on that window, Jaeger ? » Well, it didn't matter what these titan things were, he'd have enough sleepless nights to think about it later. The important point, for the time being, was to keep his brats alive and sweeping.


End file.
